I Should’ve Saved That Gif When I Had The Chance Because Now I Can’t Find It: The Musical
*opens jacket* hey u wanna buy some oh jesus fuck it’s cold *closes jacket*
today in science we had this sub nd the other people went outside so it was just me and a couple friends so we flipped all the chairs upside down and formed a satanic star in the middle of the room w yard sticks and i laid in t he middle of th floor while all the other people acted like they were sacrificing me th en the sub came in and the only thing he said was “oh not again”
*ANGRILY OPPA GANGNAM STYLES TOWARDS YOU*
*VIOLENTLY TWERKS AWAY*
DO yOU KNOW HOW FUCKING FUNNY IT IS TO MENTALLY PICTURE THIS LIKE IMAGINE THIS LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS JUST START FUCKING DANCING TOWARD YOU WITH A MEAN LOOK AND YOU JUST TURN AROUND LIKE A SASS GOD AND START SHAKING YOUR ASS AND RUNNING AWAY LIK E THAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I CANT
DO
NOT
SPEAK
TO ME
WHEN
I HAVE
HEADPHONES
ON
JESUS
CHRIST
my life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes
youknownothing-ouiserboudreaux:
I just saw someone refer to a nap as “horizontal life pausing” and I am adopting this immediately.
How To Do Everything Last Minute: A Novel by me that I am going to write later
once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
the bag my necklaces came in was tiny and my dad just looks at me and says “this is what they sell cocaine in on the streets” and his eyes lit up and he put some baking powder into the bag and put it on the counter and i was like what are you doing… and he was like “i’m going to tell your mom that we found this in your brother’s pocket” jesus christ
one time in 7th grade everyone in my class got really quiet so i said “dildo” just to see the ridiculous reaction since i knew how immature 7th graders were
for 30 minutes, there was an uncontrollable uproar of laughter and someone fell and hit their head on a chair and had to go to the nurse
because i said dildo.
A Dramatic Reading of Sandra Hill’s “Rough and Ready”
I’M BRINGING THIS BACK BECAUSE I REDISCOVERED IT EARLIER AND I ALMOST HAD AN ANEURYSM FROM LAUGHING SO HARD
IF YOU CAN ONLY HEAR ONE THING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE LISTEN TO THIS
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
